Last week was rough for me, my final week at my current job of 3 years. Though there is no doubt I am off to bigger and greater things, I have never been particularly fond of change. I have been known to throw one hell of a tantrum should the Christmas tree be moved across the room from it’s usual setting. I am a creature of habit, and routine, and any change to that terrifies me.

Any hard week always sends me seeking for Thomas. Not that he was particularly full of advices, or the greatest pep talk, but he was my constant. Someone you could always count on to help change a bad day. The only person you wanted to call when you just needed a drink and a laugh, and the warmest hug and brightest smile that could light up your darkest of days.

There are days, on weeks such as last I find myself hunting for the Thomas connection. Scanning face after face on the streets, browsing radio stations looking for songs, the trees, the clouds, anything to tell me he is still with me.

When we first lost Thomas – I felt his presence everywhere. “Only the Good Die Young” comes on my iTunes and my computer crashed; sitting at a family dinner and the power goes out, Buster is sitting and wagging his tail looking at an empty front entrance way. Small signs, that may in fact be fictitious, but have helped me push through some pretty dark days. A subtle reminder of the man I admired, and loved for the past 28 years, and for the rest of my days.

Last Wednesday, training had started on my replacement, the change was sinking in, and on my way back to the office from moving my car I felt myself hunting for Thomas. I took my time on my walk back, scanning condo balconies, listening to the wind howl, when there it was. A young scruffy guy from a few floors up, out for a smoke break, a solid black coffee mug in hand with a large white R on the front. There is no doubt the R to him is a representation of his first name perhaps Ryan or Robert, but to me it was Thomas. No doubt about it, it was my sign, he is still with me.

The remainder of the week was challenging but bearable. I finished off Friday sad that a chapter had ended but excited and ready for the new adventure that lies ahead. Although I wish Thomas were here in person to celebrate the change with me, he will always be here with me in my heart and soul.