I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Memories flooded my head of last Mothers day, all of us together, eating kebabs, laughing around the kitchen table. It is hard to believe so much can change in a year, yet here we are, exactly one year later and all separated by life and space on Mothers day. This post is devoted to my mother, OUR mother. Incomparable, indescribable, and inspiring.

I am not sure there is another soul on this planet who has had more of an emotionally disastrous year.  Losing Thomas felt like being hit by an avalanche. Having to dig our way out from the mountain of snow that engulfed us. But then losing your father such a short period later. You mourned, you wept, but you kept digging. Through it all you have held the hands of your children, your husband, your sisters and your mother. Our primary support system. Our shoulder.

All the while you maintained this flawless composure. Moments of sadness followed by spurts of great strength. I have watched you in awe, since last July, never quite sure of how you were doing it. Amazed, impressed, and oh so proud.

You may, on the occasion, leave a tub of ice cream melting in the fridge, then eat a large scoop of liquified sludge before disposing of the remains.

You may spend half an hour looking for your keys only to find them in your purse, your pocket, or on the kitchen table.

You may drive past the entrance to our destination 95% of the time, claiming you are on auto-pilot. I have never known where that auto-pilot destination would be.

BUT

You ARE the most compassionate, generous, supportive woman I have ever known.

You ARE absolutely beautiful inside and out.

You ARE the reason I strive to do more, dream more, and be more than who I am today.

I wake up every morning so proud and thankful for such a strong role model of a mother. I can only hope that something more than your goofy sense of humour has been passed down to me.

Until I can hug you in person… I love you mom. Thank you for being a wonderful mother. My Mama Bear.

And a best friend.

xoxo